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• Never ignore or pretend the child doesn’t exist. This makes the child and family very uncomfortable. Acknowledge the elephant in the room.
• If you can start with a look straight in the eye and a smile on your face, you would have already built a big bridge to reach out to a child who could really use a friend. This communicates: I care and you are OK just the way you are.
• If you see a child having a difficult time, don’t assume the parent is negligent and throw disapproving looks. My child is acutely sensitive to the piercing glances of strangers even when he is in the middle of a meltdown. Ask if you can help. If you are told to stay away or your advances for help are refused, just smile at the child/mom/dad/caregiver encouragingly and leave.
• Inappropriate behavior may manifest itself in different ways—a child may be playing oddly, maybe grab food that you’re eating, or he may be repeating meaningless phrases over and over again. Use common sense, be accepting, smile, and be non-judgmental. The less self-conscious the child feels, the more likely the situation is to resolve itself.
• Don’t talk down to a special needs child under the assumption that just because he is behaving like a two-year-old, he thinks like one too. Autism is primarily a communication disorder and you will be surprised how bright, creative and thoughtful these children are. Communicate at an age-appropriate level even if you don’t receive feedback to validate it.
• Just accept them for who they are and love them no matter how they behave. You may be surprised to know that the seemingly low functioning child who may appear non-verbal or non-responsive will understand that and relax around you.
What about your kids/teenagers who may encounter this strange behavior? Your children take their cues from you. If you take things in stride, don’t overreact, and treat people with respect in spite of their differences, then so will they.
