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Today’s post is based on a small chat with like-minded parents and my own views. It is about the importance of leisure activities for our kids.
All of us hope for the best for our kids and hope for some employment opportunities after adulthood. We also hope that they become as independent as possible with minimal assistance. However, a few days back, one of the members had rightly commented that the biggest challenge faced (more so after adulthood – HOW THEY SPEND THEIR TIME?)
Many of our kids have limited interests and hobbies. Some of them (like my kid) are good at a particular thing – music, art, sports. But what about the time other than that personally speaking, I would like my kid to be an all-rounder. While art can be his main time pass, my challenge has been to wean him away a bit to teach him other leisure activities. My wife and I together with the school have been able to teach him cricket, football, badminton, cycling, skipping, skating and swimming. Though he is not proficient in any of these, he can play all of these (though he is the last to be chosen in a team – in India traditionally two captains choose a team- when taken downstairs to play which anyway only kids you. This leaves me with one of the dilemmas of whether to still press for trying his social skills or try the self-esteem not being crushed. (the fellow kids/peers are able to sniff out, and he is sidelined despite being in the playgroup). I choose the latter and try individual sports like cycling and swimming. These btw are recommended as most suited for the kids on the spectrum- you are with a group of peers, but at the same time need not follow the intricate social rules/game rules. I would add yoga and walking/jogging to the list
Apart from sports, the second major area of leisure can be books. Now here is the catch. Many of them simply do not like reading. And even when they do, some of them (like my kid) are unable to get the hang of it. The moment there is something abstract in the story some of them struggle to get the hang of it (just like in the films discussion the other day). The solution- small storybooks and gradually increasing. (The WA chat started with one mother feeling happy about her kid reading an Enid Blyton all by herself- and I was told by a well-meaning parent that I need not worry as my kiddo can draw and paint for hours) For kids who are unable to read, it would be ideal if the mother reads out to the kid, regularly so that he at least listens. I am told that Soma’s mother used to read out classics both Indian and Foreign to the kid, irrespective of the fact that he was nonverbal. I propose to read all the child encyclopedias (the illustrated ones not Britannica during the vacation). On a lighter note, this was in the pre-FB/WA era. The whole idea is to expand the horizon.
The third leisure area can be cooking and embroidery and other housework (dusting, making up the bed, washing dishes, washing clothes, ironing clothes, etc). Both these activities would also be useful for independent living skills, as also leisure skills. It might be argued that most houses have maids doing it and they are not essential my side of the argument is that it would be useful in emergencies if not in day-to-day life. And here the intention is gainfully spending time. Further, while domestic help is available at a relatively cheaper cost (a huge advantage over the west), it need not always be so.
Leisure activities like movies were discussed the other day. Members added plays. I would like to emphasize and add visits to monuments, and sports events. My kid loved it when we went to Jawahar Lal Nehru stadium for the commonwealth athletics and an India Pakistan hockey match at the National Stadium, and an IPL match at Dharmshala (what a stadium). The buzz in the ground is to be seen to be believed (If the kid has a sensory issue with crowds. say a Ramji or a Durand match has a much lower crowd and tickets are cheaper too- many times free can be tried. Let the kid at least have a feel of the stadium)
TV, computers (internet) Gizmos (mobiles and I pads), and video games are double-edged weapons. These have in my view changed our social fabric, and made us practically asocial and slipping into a virtual or real world. Our kids somehow have a natural affinity to all of these. I have seen many nonverbal kids being able to play their own favorite song from youtube effortlessly and nonchalantly. Many of our kids take to all these gizmos. One major problem is that these are wonderful babysitters as well, giving the mom/caregiver a much-needed break. However, there is a tendency by all to either over-indulge in these or over-regulate. A win in a video game can do wonders to self-esteem. TV programs and ads can teach social skills and General Knowledge. Google is the virtual age guru (at zero cost much to the chagrin of “specialists”) Songs on iPad or iPods can be great. But they need to be taught self-regulation.
Social media (mainly FB and WA – I don’t use any other and even FB is 6 months out of nearly 54 years). They will need to be taught the pitfalls, and how vicious they can be, apart from the stalkers and scamsters. Some degree of monitoring would be needed in the initial years, especially the teen years.
I have tried to list a few random leisure activities off the top of my cuff.
Would request members to add in with what other leisure activities we can plan and do for our kids. And please try to suggest activities from a long-time plan horizon rather than just the summer vacation perspective.
