Language Matters – Let’s Change the Way We Talk About Disabilities

For the longest time, even before I became a special educator, I remember feeling uncomfortable with the labels and terms used when referring to neurodiversity and individuals with disabilities. I heard terms like “handicapped,” “crippled,” “low,” “divine,” or even “retarded” casually thrown around, and even though I felt deeply disturbed by this, I did not know any better. This changed over the course of the past two years when, through a process of trial and error, I found certain phrases and words that are not only sensitive but also acknowledge the person to be more than their disability.

If you have ever paused mid-sentence, unsure of the right way to describe your child’s or a loved one’s condition, you are not alone. Learning how to talk about disability is not about memorising a rulebook. It is about understanding why the words we choose matter, and then making small, consistent changes that add up to a more dignified, inclusive way of speaking. Through this blog post, I hope to share some alternatives to the language commonly used when referring to individuals with disabilities and why this matters for building more inclusive and sensitive societies.

The “Why” Behind Language Change

According to the social model of disability, an individual can be “disabled” or “handicapped” by societal structures, not just by their disability itself. For example, a person might use a wheelchair for mobility, but they can be equally disabled by poor infrastructure or inaccessible buildings they encounter every day. Here is another example. A person who is hearing impaired might require sign language to follow the news. The absence of sign language becomes a “barrier” to them accessing that information. If a child with a learning disability struggles to process large amounts of written work, but written text remains the primary mode of instruction, that too becomes a barrier hindering the child’s learning.

The social model of disability holds that disability or additional needs do not arise from the individual themselves, but from environmental structures that act as barriers, preventing individuals with disabilities from reaching their full potential. This could be societal stigma, poor infrastructure, or a simple lack of awareness, among other factors.

This distinction matters because it reframes the conversation. Once we understand that barriers, not people, create disability, learning how to talk about disability becomes less about political correctness and more about accuracy and respect.

How to Talk About Disability: Moving from Labels to People-First Language

While I agree that it is daunting to change extremely old perceptions, we can make a beginning by changing our language, both individually and collectively. If we refer to someone as “disabled” or “handicapped,” we are locating the disability as inherent or “inside” the individual. However, when we use “person with disability,” we put the person first and treat disability as one among many other characteristics a person might have. This is similar to how we talk about cancer or diabetes. We would never refer to someone as being “cancerous.” We would say a person with cancer.

Secondly, when we rephrase our language around disability, saying “person with autism” instead of “autistic,” we place more of the responsibility on society to respond better to this diversity, rather than treating the condition as the sum total of who someone is.

A few practical shifts worth adopting:

• Say “person with disability” instead of “disabled person” or “handicapped person”
• Say “person with autism” instead of “autistic” (though some self-advocates in the autism community prefer identity-first language, so it is always worth asking)
• Say “child with a learning disability” instead of “slow” or “low”
• Say “uses a wheelchair” instead of “wheelchair-bound” or “confined to a wheelchair”
• Say “typically developing” instead of “normal,” when comparing to a child with developmental differences
• Avoid outdated and hurtful terms like “retarded,” “crippled,” or “differently abled” used as a catch-all label, and instead ask the individual or family how they prefer to be addressed

The National Center on Disability and Journalism and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention both recommend people-first language as the default in public communication, while also noting that some communities, such as many Autistic and Deaf self-advocates, prefer identity-first terms. There is no single rule that fits everyone, which is exactly why asking matters more than assuming.

Empowerment Through Vocabulary

As parents of children who are neurodiverse or who have disabilities, adopting this vocabulary can be an important step in empowering yourself as a family and sensitising those around you. Below, I am sharing some common alternative phrases that I have discovered to be more sensitive and inclusive. However, as always, I would highly recommend directly checking with the individual and their families on how they wish to be addressed. Some might have preferences, and it is important to respect the individual’s wishes and comply with how they wish to be identified. I hope this helps, and please feel free to share more ideas so I can incorporate them into my own toolkit.

Changing how we talk about disability is not a one-time correction. It is a practice you build over time, in conversations with teachers, relatives, doctors, and even strangers who mean well but use the wrong words. Every time you gently correct or model person-first language, you are shaping how the people around your child understand and treat them.

How Nayi Disha Supports Families on This Journey

Knowing how to talk about disability is one part of a much larger journey that families of children with Autism, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, and other developmental conditions navigate every day. At Nayi Disha, we understand that this journey is rarely walked alone, and it should not have to be.

Our free national helpline connects caregivers with trained counsellors who offer emotional support and help you find your footing, whether you are newly navigating a diagnosis or looking for guidance on language, services, or next steps. Through our volunteer-led parent support groups, you can connect with other caregivers who have had the same conversations about language, labels, and dignity, and who understand exactly what you are going through.

If you are looking for verified, easy-to-understand resources in English, Hindi, Telugu, Marathi, or Bengali, our resource hub covers everything from caregiver journeys to therapies and inclusion in society, including stories like building an inclusive and supportive community for special mothers. You can also explore our curated directory of over 7,000 trusted service providers across major Indian cities to find specialists, therapists, and support services near you.

To learn more about our mission and how we support families across Hyderabad, Maharashtra, Bengaluru, Delhi, Kolkata, and Pune, visit our About Us page, or consider supporting our work so we can continue helping more families navigate this journey with confidence and dignity.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does it matter how we talk about disability? The words we use shape how society perceives and treats individuals with disabilities. Person-first language, such as “person with disability” rather than “disabled person,” acknowledges that a person is more than their condition. It also reflects the social model of disability, which recognises that barriers in society, not the individual, often create the disabling experience.

What is the difference between person-first and identity-first language? Person-first language puts the individual before the condition, for example, “child with autism.” Identity-first language puts the condition first, for example, “autistic child.” Many self-advocacy communities, particularly within the Deaf and Autistic communities, prefer identity-first language because they see the condition as central to their identity. The most respectful approach is to ask the individual or their family which they prefer.

How can I gently correct someone who uses outdated terms? Approach it with empathy rather than judgment. Most people using outdated terms like “handicapped” or “retarded” are not trying to cause harm; they simply have not learned better alternatives. A simple, “We usually say person with disability now, it just feels more respectful,” goes a long way without putting anyone on the defensive.

Where can caregivers get support beyond just learning the right language? Nayi Disha offers a free national helpline, multilingual resources, a directory of over 7,000 verified service providers, and peer-led support groups so that caregivers do not have to navigate every challenge alone. You can explore all of these through our resource hub or reach out to our helpline directly.

Does using the right language actually make a difference for my child? Yes. Language shapes expectations. When teachers, doctors, and extended family use respectful, person-first language, it reinforces to your child and everyone around them that they are seen as a whole person first. Over time, this consistency contributes to greater dignity, better inclusion, and more genuine acceptance in schools, workplaces, and communities.

A Small Shift With a Lasting Impact

Learning how to talk about disability is not about getting every word perfect from day one. It is about staying open, asking questions, and choosing language that puts the person before the label. Small shifts in how we speak can shape how our children are seen, included, and valued in the world around them.

If you are on this journey and looking for guidance, community, or simply someone to talk to, Nayi Disha’s helpline and support groups are here for you. Explore our resources to keep learning, connect with families who understand your journey, and take the next step with the confidence that you are not navigating this alone.