3 
Comments
My journey as a parent of a specially-abled son has been one with extreme emotions – from disappointment to hope; from pain to joy; from love to anguish – it’s been a journey like never before.
When Vivaan was born, one of my close friends sent me Kahlil Gibran’s famous poem On Children. The first verse in the poem is often quoted, but I would still like to share it here.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
My journey as a parent of a differently-abled son has been one with extreme emotions – from disappointment to hope, from pain to joy, from love to anguish – it’s been a journey like never before (and will continue till the very end). As with the arrival of a child anywhere, ours was a source of immense joy. He was the first grandchild and first boy on my wife’s side of the family. The first year was spent worrying about every small thing and at times taking a perfectly healthy baby to a surprised doctor! In those times of unfounded worry that plague every new parent, the presence of my in-laws and parents was the biggest source of comfort. Experience, I realized, was priceless!
I enjoyed the attention of onlookers who stopped to admire my son’s chubby cheeks, much to the discomfort of my wife! Things changed around the time he completed 15 months when there seemed to be early signs of different behavior. Any of the early symptoms could be easily ignored as growing up pains – lack of social interaction, not responding to name, interest in spinning objects, etc. However, a chance meeting with a friend (who had a son on the Autism spectrum) forced us to go to a specialist – just to rule out any abnormalities.
After multiple visits to various doctors and scores of questionnaires, Vivaan was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum disorder – at that moment we were not aware of what hit us.
The magnitude of the pain was dissolved by the false hope that the diagnosis could be wrong. Vivaan looked fine, like any other child of his age. But somewhere deep inside, we also knew that the diagnosis could be right and just hoped that he would turn out to be highly functional. From that day onwards, our lives have revolved around Vivaan’s condition. From visiting numerous doctors, therapists, and experts, to reading every possible book on Autism, and watching every possible TED talk on the subject, I have probably researched more about Autism than any other topic related to my profession.
Vivaan continues to surprise us every day by the little things he does, by how much he understands without ever being able to express himself, by how much love he has, without ever giving a hug, by how much patience he has without ever complaining about the long and boring therapies he undergoes. It’s been a journey like never before. It taught me more than any business school can ever teach. Listed below are some of my greatest life lessons!
To read more, please visit the original link on Swarajya
Disclaimer: Article republished here with prior permission from the author, V R Ferose.
