How to Help Children With Autism Learn to Wait and Take Turns 

Supporting Children in Learning to Wait and Take Turns

Learning to wait and take turns helps children take part in activities at home, school and in the community. These skills can support interactions, play and daily routines.

For children with autism, waiting and turn-taking may take time and practice. Differences in communication, sensory experiences and understanding what happens next can make these situations challenging. With patience and the right support, children can gradually practise these skills in ways that suit their needs.

The goal is not to make every child follow the expectations. It is to help children understand what to expect, communicate their needs and participate comfortably in activities.

You can also read our guide on autism to learn more about autism and the different ways it can affect children.

Download the infographic: Building the Ability to Wait and Take Turns in Children (PDF)

Why Waiting and Turn-Taking Matter

Waiting and taking turns are skills in many everyday situations. Children may need them when playing with others, participating in classroom activities, sharing toys or following family routines.

Practising these skills can help children:

• Participate in games and shared activities.
• Understand when their turn will come.
• Communicate their needs during interactions.
• Become more comfortable with routines.
• Build relationships with family members and peers.

Children develop these abilities at different rates. Some may find it easy to take turns during a game but struggle when waiting for food or a preferred activity. This is a variation in how skills develop and are used across different situations.

Why Do Some Children Find Waiting Difficult?

Waiting can be challenging for some children for various reasons. Understanding what makes a situation difficult can help parents choose strategies.

Difficulty understanding time: A child may not understand how long they need to wait or when an activity will begin.

Communication needs: A child may have difficulty asking for help, requesting an activity, or expressing frustration while waiting.

Changes in routine: Unexpected delays or changes to activities can make waiting harder.

Sensory experiences: Noise, lights, crowds or uncomfortable surroundings may make waiting stressful.

Difficulty managing frustration: Some children may find it hard to manage their feelings when an activity is delayed or when someone else has a turn

These are reasons, not assumptions about every child. Parents can observe what happens before, during and after a situation to identify patterns. A child’s behaviour may also communicate discomfort, fatigue or an unmet need.

Strategies for Helping Children with Autism Learn to Wait and Take Turns

With support, children can practise waiting and turn-taking through enjoyable everyday activities. The following strategies can help parents make the process easier.

1. Engage in Structured Activities That Involve Turn-Taking

Games provide opportunities to practise taking turns. Start with activities that the child enjoys, such as rolling a ball, stacking blocks, playing with cars or completing a puzzle together.

For example, a parent and child can take turns adding blocks to a tower. Use words such as “my turn” and “your turn” to show whose turn it is.

Keep the activity short and relaxed. As the child becomes more comfortable, gradually introduce games or invite another family member to join.

2. Introduce Anticipation Through Books

Reading can help children practise short pauses and learn what comes next in a familiar activity.

For example, read a page of a story and pause before turning to the next page. You can ask a question, point to a picture or let the child indicate when they are ready to continue.

Follow the child’s interest and communication style. If waiting while reading becomes frustrating, continue the story. Try a shorter pause another time.

3. Celebrate Small Wins and Offer Positive Encouragement

Recognise the child’s effort when they wait briefly to take a turn or communicate what they need.

For example, you might say, “You waited while I finished. Now it’s your turn!” Specific encouraging feedback helps children understand what they did successfully.

Progress may be small at first. A child might wait for a second with support before gradually managing a longer wait. Focus on the child’s progress rather than comparing them with others.

4. Use Visual Schedules and Timers

Visual support can help children understand what will happen next and when an activity will begin.

You can try:

• Visual timers: Show how much time remains before an activity or turn.
• First – then cards: Show the order of two activities, such as ” shoes, then park.”
• Turn-taking cards: Use pictures or names to show whose turn it is.
• Visual schedules: Show the sequence of activities throughout the day.

Choose supports that match the child’s understanding and preferences. Some children respond well to pictures while others may prefer reminders or objects that represent an activity.

Practical Ways to Teach Children Waiting at Home

Parents can use routines to help children practise waiting. Start with situations that are familiar and manageable rather than expecting the child to wait for long periods.

Start With Short Waiting Periods

Begin with a wait before giving a preferred toy, starting a game or serving a snack. Let the child know what will happen next.

For example, say, “Wait a moment while I get your ball.” Gradually increase the waiting time if the child is comfortable. If the wait becomes distressing, shorten it. Try again another time.

Keep the Child Engaged While Waiting

Waiting may feel easier when children have something to do. Depending on the situation, offer a book, a small toy, a simple puzzle or another suitable activity.

For example, while waiting for an appointment, a child might look at a picture book. Play with a familiar toy.

Explain When the Child’s Turn Will Come

Use clear language to show what will happen next. For example, say, “After your sister finishes, you can use the toy.”

A picture card or turn-taking cue can make the sequence easier to understand. Give the child a way to ask when their turn is coming, using words, gestures, pictures or a communication device if needed.

Practise During Familiar Routines

Choose regular opportunities, such as taking turns choosing a song, passing a ball or adding ingredients while preparing food together.

Practising during activities can help children learn without adding pressure. Keep the activity enjoyable. Adjust it to the child’s interests and abilities.

How to Teach Turn-Taking Through Everyday Activities

Turn-taking does not need to be taught through formal games. Everyday activities can provide opportunities to practise.

• Ball games: Roll a ball to the child. Wait for them to roll it back.
• Building blocks: Take turns adding one block to a tower.
• Music: Take turns choosing a song or making a sound.
• Storytelling: Let each person add a word, sound or picture to a shared story.
• Art activities: Take turns choosing colours or adding details to a drawing.

Use turns and clear cues to help the child understand the activity. Some children may participate through gestures, eye gaze, pictures or other communication methods other than spoken words.

The aim is to make shared activities more accessible and enjoyable, not to require a style of social interaction.

What to Do When a Child Becomes Upset While Waiting

Some children may become frustrated, anxious or distressed when they need to wait. Parents can respond calmly. Consider what may be making the situation difficult.

Acknowledge the child’s feelings. Use words such as, “I know you want the toy. Your turn is next.” Avoid explanations when the child is already upset.

Make the next step clear. Use a cue, a short reminder or a timer if it helps the child understand what will happen.

Offer support. Depending on the child’s needs, this might include a space, a familiar activity or help communicating a request.

Adjust the waiting time. If the wait is too difficult, make it shorter. Change the activity. Gradually build the skill when the child is comfortable.

Consider triggers. Noise, tiredness, hunger, discomfort or unexpected changes may contribute to distress. Observe the situation. Adapt the environment where possible.

If the child is distressed, prioritise their well-being rather than insisting that they continue waiting. If these difficulties regularly interfere with activities, a qualified professional can help identify suitable strategies.

How to Know When a Child Is Making Progress

Progress may look different for every child. It does not always mean waiting or taking turns without help.

You may notice progress when a child:

• Waits briefly with the help of a cue.
• Uses words, gestures or pictures to ask when their turn will come.
• Participates in a back-and-forth game.
• Understands a waiting routine.
• Returns to an activity after a pause.
• Accepts support when a delay occurs.

Some children may need assistance even after making progress. Skills can also vary across settings, so a child who waits comfortably at home may find it more difficult in a classroom or public place.

Keep activities that recognise the child’s effort and adjust the support as needed. If you are unsure which strategies may suit your child, discuss your observations with a therapist or developmental professional.

Related Resources for Parents

You may also find these Nayi Disha resources helpful:

• Tips to Improve Motivation in Children With Autism – ideas for supporting participation and engagement.
• Tips to Improve Sitting Tolerance in Children – practical suggestions for helping children participate in seated activities.

Connect With Nayi Disha

Supporting a child as they learn new skills can take time, and families may benefit from connecting with people who understand their experiences.

Join Nayi Disha Support Groups to connect with other families, share experiences and find a supportive community.

If you have questions about autism, Down Syndrome, ADHD or other developmental differences, contact the Nayi Disha FREE Helpline at 844-844-8996 by call or WhatsApp. Our counsellors speak English, Hindi, Malayalam, Gujarati, Marathi, Telugu and Bengali.

Acknowledgement: We sincerely thank Renu K Manish for contributing to the original infographic content.

Disclaimer: This article provides general information and is not a substitute for individual professional advice. Adapt strategies to each child’s needs, preferences, and communication style.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do I teach my child with autism to wait?

Start with short, manageable waiting periods and use clear cues to show what happens next. Visual timers, first–then cards and preferred activities may help. Increase the waiting time gradually if your child is comfortable, and adapt the approach to their communication and sensory needs.

2. Why does my child struggle with taking turns?

A child may find turn-taking difficult because of communication needs, uncertainty about what happens next, sensory discomfort or difficulty managing frustration. Observe the situation to understand what may be contributing, and practise with short, enjoyable activities.

3. At what age should a child learn to take turns?

Turn-taking develops gradually through play and everyday interactions. Children’s abilities vary according to their development, experiences and support needs. Instead of expecting a skill by a fixed deadline, offer activities that match the child’s current abilities and gradually build on them.

4. Do visual timers help children with autism?

Visual timers help some children understand how long they need to wait and when an activity will begin. However, not every child finds timers helpful. Parents can try pictures, simple verbal reminders or other visual supports to find what works best for their child.

5. How can I help my child wait without becoming upset?

Keep waiting periods manageable, explain what will happen next and offer a suitable activity or visual support. If your child becomes distressed, respond calmly and consider whether the wait, environment or activity needs to change. Practise gradually when the child is comfortable.