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Manavi and I were in the car waiting for Naresh to come back with some delicacies on our nighttime plunders. The hotel chauffeur could not contain himself anymore and said, “Aap Ke saath bahut bura hua.” For a minute, I was thinking he knows something which the good Lord has not made me realize. Then I saw his gaze travel to a super excited Manavi who was recovering from her fever waiting unabashedly for her chocolate treats. For some reason, anger didn’t well up today. So, I said, “Nahi, bhaiya. Hum Khush hai aur Manavi bahut achhi hai. Aap sorry nahi feel karo.” He continued a bit more knowingly and said, “Didi, aap log to achhe log ho to Bhagwan ne aap Ke saath yeh itna bura kyon kara, aap ne to kisi ka kuch nahi bigara, tabhi bhi aap ko yeh bachha Mila, ab to aap ki kismat khatam aur paisa bhi aap ki kismat nahi badal sakta.” After hearing all of this, I lost my appetite for stealing Manavis’s goodie bag. Naresh was getting into the car and I just heard myself say, “Bhaiya, hamari ya Manavi Ki kismat ya taqdeer kharab nahi hai. Hamare saath kuch bura nahi hua.”
It is so so easy to say all this without realizing what impact it can have on others. It makes me wonder time and again why but why must you associate misery with special needs. Yes, without doubt, we have a tough day each day and we yearn for basic experiences that 99% of the families go through but Manavi at 13, without speech, is fighting tooth and nail to be “heard”. Hear her, please, but you need a different reception signal for that (perhaps one of kindness and acceptance). She is all there and happy or at least finds the smallest joys in the silliest of things like dunking her hand in the water fountain, hearing a nice song, or just looking at chocolates. People can also turn around and say we learn to smile for no reason from Manavi and we learn to overcome and or live with our weakness. Why must a person with a disability be the “Bechara” or “loser”? Her heart is stronger than mine, her resilience is better than mine, her ability to forgive and forget much better than mine her acceptance of all without prejudice is the best I know, and unconditional love and trust in all without judging them or their motives. Is that not something to aspire for? Are these not the best virtues of humanity?
Well, we came home and devoured the Tiramisu, and next time we meet the bhaiya maybe Manavi and I should counsel him.
