Age-Appropriate Self-Advocacy

It is widely considered that self-advocacy is one of the key ultimate goals for persons with autism.

I found a website that has age-wise self-advocacy tips (All the other places were too generic – one size fits all types.)
I am editing and outlining the ones which appealed to me in the Indian context:

Ages 2-5
• Teach how to communicate “yes” and “no”. After that, to the extent possible, honor their choice.

• Identify, and encourage the child’s special interests (likes) and incorporate those interests as motivators and reinforcements.

• Similarly, make a list of extreme dislikes and avoid them. It can be revisited later when the kid is a bit more grown-up if needed.

• Expose the child to problem-solving thought patterns by saying out loud how you will handle a problem the child is aware of (like not having an ingredient to make a meal).

• Always demonstrate calmness and an ability to self-manage emotions when dealing with a problem, it will help your child to do the same later on in life.

• Encourage ability to communicate preferences for clothing, food, and activities.
Examples – by offering the option of choosing between two good choices (t-shirt or regular shirt, apple or banana, pizza or burger reading or playing a counting game, etc.) We need to give the kid a “voice” in what he/she needs/thinks/wants. He/she has to learn to communicate his needs, and we as parents need to learn and listen to them. Then to the extent possible and feasible, we need to satisfy these needs.

Ages 6-10
• Foster an awareness of the child’s strengths and challenges
o Teach the child to request help appropriately
o Praise child’s strengths and foster development of those strengths

• If cognitively appropriate, foster an awareness of what Autism Spectrum Disorders mean
o Exposure to words such as autism, Asperger’s, disabilities
o Talk with the child about common characteristics of Autism Spectrum Disorders and how they impact them

• Help the child develop self-awareness and understand when they need a break

• Teaching to negotiate and collaborate

• Role play scenarios that may come up at school and how to deal with them
o Teach your child how to appropriately ask for a closer seat, a different partner for a project, help with a bully
o Help the child develop the ability to manger anxiety or anger, particularly in public settings, by teaching ways of communicating causes for anxiety or anger to adults that can help them
o Foster consistent use of the same communication methods at home, school, and in counseling sessions

Ages 11-13
• Encourage your child to order at restaurants using their own communication system
o Help them write a script for practice and take it to the restaurant. Remember to include when to say “Please” and “Thank you” in the script.
o If the child uses an assisted communication device, encourage them to be patient with your server who may not be familiar with someone using assisted communication devices.
o If something is wrong with the food, coach your child on how to get the server’s help.

• Have the child participate in planning weekends and free time.
o Help guide the choices so the child learns reasonable options such as: “First you play a game or talk with a friend, then you can play video games.”

• Take the child with you when running errands and make sure you allow for teaching time.
o When you go to the bank, teach the child the steps of making a deposit
o When going to the store, have the child be responsible for finding, unloading, and paying for items (with the parent’s money and supervision)

Ages 14-18
• Make decisions about personal items to purchase and learn about budgeting skills for those items
o Selecting and purchasing (with earned money) hygiene products, clothes, food
o Being responsible for keeping track of when personal items need to be purchased

• Write an Accommodations Letter to your future teachers or employers.
o Explain how your disability impacts you and any reasonable accommodations you need to be successful in school or in the workplace.
o Highlight your strengths and the value you can contribute to a team.

• Ask for help finding possible mentors in your community.
o Learning from someone with a similar disability who is older and has achieved some successes will help you make choices about your future and will provide another support.

Ages 19-22
• Register to vote if you are eligible and exercise it
(Even if your parents choose to remain your guardian you still have the right to vote)

• Be in charge of managing all of your benefits, and bank account cash flows

• Keep up-to-date on legislation that affects you. Read news, attend community meetings, join online advocacy groups

• Make your own doctor and other medical appointments.

• Pay all bills, with assistance or independently, that is solely yours (cell phone, transportation)

• Continue to foster relationships with mentors, those with ASD and those without.
o When you are unsure about how to handle a problem discuss your possible options with your mentor(s) for advice and support.

• Be responsible for asking for all accommodations you use at the workplace and in the community.
o Know who to talk to when you feel like your rights are being violated.

If you’re seeking more information and guidance on this topic and related areas, Nayi Disha’s Know Your Rights (KYR) Program is here to support you every step of the way. By joining, you’ll gain access to valuable resources on government schemes, benefits, financial support, legal rights, and more, all aimed at securing a brighter future for your child. To learn more, visit our chatbot by clicking this link: https://bit.ly/4dJVCP3, or simply type ‘KYR’ on our helpline number 844-844-8996.