A Musical Journey of Raising a Special Child!

Just around “Down’s Syndrome Day” last month, I had penned an article about the acceptance of a special child. Now that we are in the middle of a nationwide lockdown for the last 3 weeks, there is a lot of anxiety and restlessness in society at large. When things are rather somber, music and humor or for that matter any form of art could provide us with much-needed fresh air and positivity.  With that context, I just thought of compiling a playlist of songs that could give a good sense of the up and downs that a parent goes through while raising a special child!!!

For any parent, it is most devastating when receiving the news about their child’s diagnosis and a lot of pain strangles our minds with why me? Or why us? questions. In those days, the song that I listened to most frequently was a song by Jagjit Singh and the lyrics were so close to my heart that later on, I listened to a lot of songs by the lyricist, Nida Fazli

Jeevan kya hai….
Chalta phirta ek khilona hai
Do aankhon me ek se hasna ek se rona hai

Jo jee chahe woh mil jaaye kab aisa hota hai
Har jeevan jeevan jeene ka samjhouta hota hai

In those early days of shock and denial, a lot of sad songs of Kishor Da or Rafi sahib automatically got added to my playlist

• Yeh Jeevan Hai Is Jeevan Ka Yehi Hai – Yehi Hai Yehi Hai Rungroop Thode Ghum Hain Thodi Khushiyan Yehi Hai Yehi Hai Yehi Hai Chaon Dhoop
• Zindgi Kaisi Hai Paheli Haye, Kabhi Toh Hasaye, Kabhi Yeh Rulaye
• Zindagi ka safar, hai ye kaisa safar… Koi samajha nahin, koi jaana nahin… Hai ye kaisi dagar, chalate hain sab magar …Koi samajha nahin, Koi jaana nahin
• Raahi manava dukh ki chinta kyon sataati hai dukh to apana saathi hai
• Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Haalaat Pe Rona Aaya

Unless parents reach an acceptance at a deeper level of mind, there is no escape from the spiral of negative emotions. This entire process is not linear and not everyone goes through every stage. At this stage, parents start subscribing to both positive and negative emotions and songs too –

• Chalte Chalte Mere Yeh Geet Yad Rakhna..Kabhi Alvida na kehna
• Aanewala pal, jaanewala hai
• Ruk jaana nahin tu kahin haar ke …Kaanton pe chal ke, milenge saaye bahaar ke…. O raahi, o raahi
• Git gaata hun main, gunagunaata hun main Maine hasane ka waada kiya tha kabhi Isalie ab sada muskuraata hun main
• Zindagi Ki Yehi Reet Hai Har K Baad Hi Jeet Hai ..  Thode Aansu Hain Thodi Hansi Aaj Gam Hai To Kal Hai Kushi

One of the new age songs at this point was –

• Har ghadi badal rahi hai rup zindagi Chhaanw hai kabhi, kabhi hai dhup zindagi Har pal yahaan ji bhar jiyo Jo hai samaan, kal ho na ho

Finally, when acceptance sinks in, parents are ready to accept the new reality, even though it’s not the one they wanted. At this point, emotion remains positive for the most part.

• Thoda hai thode kee jarurat hai …Jindagee phir bhee yaha khubsurat hai
• Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya …Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya
• Kitne bhi tu kar le sitam, has haske sahenge hum…Yeh pyaar na hoga kam,  Sanam teri kasam

And my most favorite these days has been –

Aashiyana Mera, Saath Tere Hai Na, Dhundte Teri Gali, Mujhko Ghar Mila

Aabodaana Mera, Haath Tere Hai Na, Dhundte Tera Khuda, Mujhko Rab Mila…

Tu Jo Mila, Lo Ho Gaya Main Kaabil, Tu Jo Mila, Toh Ho Gaya Sab Haasil

Mushkil Sahi, Aasan Hui Manzil, Kyunki Tu Dhadkan …Main Dil…

I am sure when the child grows up, he/she will have his own sets of experiences and emotions, the song that will come back and we better be prepared to

Main Aisa Kyun Hoon ..Main Aisa Kyun Hoon …Main Jaisa Hoon Main Waisa Kyun Hoon

Karna Hai Kya Mujhko Ye Maine Kab Hai Jaana..

Finally, raising a special child is a life-long journey and one has to keep things in context. For that matter, I would end this article with one of my favorite poems from “ Zindgi na Milegee Dobara” –

Jab jab dard ka badal chaya,  Jab gham ka saya lehraya,

 Jab aasu palko taq aaya,  Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya,

 Humne dil ko ye samzaya dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai,

 Duniya me yu hi hota hai.

 Yeh jo dard k sannate hai, wakht ne sabko hi bate hai,

 Thoda gham hai sabka kissa,  Thodi dhup hai sab ka hissa,

 Aankh teri bekar hi nam hai,  Har pal ek naya mausam hai,

 Kyu tu aaise pal khota hai,  Dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai.

P.S. I have created a playlist of the above songs on Gaana.com. Feel free to listen to this playlist.

https://gaana.com/playlist/sachinjakhotia-amusicaljourneyofraisingspecialchild-k3yjyvn5wr

Read another blog: Making the best of ISOLATION during CORONA outbreak!!!