Tips for improving social engagement in children with special needs

Social engagement is a crucial part of child growth and development. This article is based on the presentation above that provides you with some tips for improving social engagement in children with special needs.

Some factors that help include:

1. Creating a social circle.
2. Strengthening interactions with key individuals within the different social circle, in the child’s life. Interaction in each circle will eventually strengthen the circle that follows! The presentation above helps with details on how to strengthen the different circles.

Creating a social circle

Identify all key individuals that play an important role in your child’s life. These individuals can then be categorised into 5 distinct social circles.

The 5 distinct social circles are divided based on the role each individual plays in your child’s life

1. Individuals who interact with the child on a daily basis – This circle includes the child’s parents, siblings and grandparents.
2. Individuals who interact with the child frequently – This includes the child’s extended family members, immediate neighbours, friends.
3. Individuals that are part of the child’s routine – This circle includes individuals at the child’s school or therapy centre that meet the child at fixed times. This also includes individuals from small shops nearby that the child frequents.
4. Community members who speak the language as the child – This circle includes members of the community such as the house helps or other individuals who speak the same language as the child or come from a similar cultural background.
5. Members of the same geographical community -Circle 5 talks about people from the same geographical region or the same city as the child.

What motivates your child?

Find the means to motivate the child to interact with individuals in each circle. It is observed that interactions in each circle will strengthen interactions in the circle that follows. But how can we do that?

By following certain tips offered by Dr. Nina Vaidya, a parent and a paediatrician, parents can understand how to meaningfully engage their child and enhance their social communication skills.

Strengthening interactions in the first circle

The first circle includes immediate family members such as parents, siblings and grandparents.

Identify the approach: Each person adapts a different approach to a different scenario.

1. In some situations, you may embrace the child-like attitude in you. You become an energetic, carefree, fun person.
2. At other times, you can take up the more disciplined, serious role
3. Additionally, there can be times when you are an unbiased and logical adult.

The way the parent interacts and responds in situations will affect the way the child learns, reacts and interacts with people around them.

It is therefore crucial to understand how to react in different situations appropriately, as this will directly impact the child. 

What motivates you?

Children learn by observing their parents. It is therefore important for parents to understand what motivates them in different scenarios. This will help children to understand and interact better by watching their parents.

So, understand what motivates you:

1. Are you work oriented?
2. Are you product oriented?
3. Are you focussed on how people react to the work you do?
4. Are you inspiration oriented?
5. Are you more focussed on the work, because it makes you happy?

Find the balance

• It is important for the parents to be mindful of their reactions to situations involving their children.
• If the parent is always strict, engaging ‘the parent within’ at all times, it may result in the child being stressed out. The child may even withdraw, not able to manage the stress and express effectively.
• On the other hand, if the parent is all fun, engaging ‘the child within’ all the time, the child will stop taking the parent seriously. Unable to turn to their parents in times of a crisis, they may be insecure not knowing what to do.
• It is therefore important for the parent to strike a balance and play the appropriate role in a particular situation. This helps the child feel secure in the parent’s comforting presence. 
• Forming a strong bond, will ensure that the child interacts and engages with the parents not only in times of fun and frolic but also in difficult and trying situations.

Strengthening Interactions in the Second Circle

• The child’s interactions with individuals in the second circle are often based on the interactions in the first circle. Since the child learns by observing the parents, children often model themselves based on the social engagements of their parents.
• The child’s interactions in the second circle will also depend upon the individuals present in the child’s second circle:
• For instance, if the child’s second circle comprises house helps, it is important the parents are aware of their own interactions with them and encourage the child to interact with them accordingly. If the help is specifically for the child, it is important to make sure that the child is comfortable with the help. It is also important to ensure the child’s safety with the help.

Strengthening interactions in the third circle

It is important to encourage the child to gradually interact with individuals in the third circle (teachers, therapists, neighbours).

Some tips shared by Dr. Nina are

1. With therapists and Teachers: Let the child interact independently, do not jump in or guide the child through interactions with teachers or therapists. If the teacher or therapist is engaging with the child in a conversation, it is important that the child takes the lead and answers. 
2. With peers and friends: Allow the child to handle their own situations. Let them interact and engage independently with their peers.
3. With shopkeepers and at public places: Encourage the child to interact with people at public places. If there are people who stare, do not move away from the situation. Try to talk to them about your child’s diagnosis. This would not only help the child boost their confidence, but also motivate them to not to shy away from public interactions.
4. Forming their own routine and following it independently boosts self-confidence. Help them form their routine, but ensure that they are the ones to make decisions. Let them apply their learnings at home, observe where they are faltering and help them correct, instead of pointing out their mistakes. Help the children learn from therapies by encouraging self-care skills like brushing, getting dressed etc. 
5. Focus on functional skills:  Functional skills should be given equal importance along with the child’s academic learning. This will aid the child with knowledge to meaningfully engage with their peers, therapists, helps and other individuals in their third circle. For example: Help the child learn the names of fruits, vegetables. Teach the child to tell the time, what the child eats. Teach them more about where their parents are, the different people he sees around.

Strengthening Interactions in the Fourth and Fifth Circle

• Active participation and engagement with the individuals in the first three circles, prepares and encourages the child to interact with individuals in the fourth and fifth circles.
• It is important to remember that it’s the parent’s responsibility to prepare the child for different social situations and offer them tools to handle these situations. But gradually, it is important to let the child take the lead. Let them experience different situations and think for themselves.
• It is important to ensure that the child is safe at all times, however it is equally important to let children experience the world on their own as well. 
• With proper guidance, children can go far beyond our understanding and expectations.

You can also check out the article by Nayi-Disha and Dr Ajay Sharma on Nurturing the Social- Emotional Development of your child. Additionally, also check out this graphic tool to teach the concept of personal space and safety to children. 

If you have questions about Autism, Down Syndrome, ADHD, or other Intellectual Disabilities, or have concerns about developmental delays in a child, the Nayi Disha team is here to help. For any questions or queries, please contact our FREE Helpline at 844-844-8996. You can either call or what’s app us. Our counselors speak different languages including English, Hindi, Malayalam, Gujarati, Marathi, Telugu, and Bengali.

DISCLAIMER: Please note that this guide is for information purposes only.