Specific Learning Disabilities : Tips to build your child’s healthy self-esteem

Children are not born with self-esteem. They are not born knowing how to feel good about themselves or believing in their abilities. Self-esteem is something that develops over time through the experiences they have and the messages they receive especially from people closest to them.

As parents, caregivers, and educators, we play a big role in shaping a child’s self-worth. The words we use, the way we respond to their efforts, and the opportunities we give them can all support—or hurt—their confidence.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how a person feels about themselves. It’s the belief they carry inside about their value, their abilities, and whether they are “good enough.” A child with healthy self-esteem usually feels loved, accepted, and proud of what they can do, even if they’re still learning.

On the other hand, a child with low self-esteem may often feel like they are not good enough, not smart enough, or not capable. This can make them withdraw, stop trying, or feel scared of making mistakes.

But the good news is: self-esteem is not fixed. It can grow and improve with the right kind of support.

How does self-esteem develop?

Self-esteem is shaped by everyday moments. It builds when:

• Children feel loved and accepted for who they are.
• They are praised for their efforts – not just their achievements.
• They are given the chance to try new things and succeed.
• They are supported when they struggle, without being blamed or shamed.
  

Sometimes, children may struggle with academics or other common expectations. If they are constantly told they are “behind” or compared to others, it can hurt their confidence deeply. But this doesn’t mean that the child is not capable. It simply means we must help them see their unique strengths and build on those.

What can parents do to support a child with low self-esteem?

Here are some simple but powerful ways you can support your child’s sense of self-worth:

1. Celebrate effort, not just success

Instead of waiting for your child to get top marks or win prizes, celebrate the effort they put in. Say things like:

• “I saw how hard you tried today. That means a lot.”
• “You didn’t give up, even when it was hard.”

This helps children learn that trying is just as important as winning.

2. Give them opportunities outside of academics

Not every child shines in the classroom. And that’s okay.

Children might be talented in music, painting, dance, sports, storytelling, fixing things, or caring for animals. When you help your child explore these activities, they discover their strengths. They begin to say to themselves, “I may not be the best in math, but I’m great at drawing,” or “I feel good when I play the piano.”

These experiences matter. They help children feel capable and proud. And interestingly, when a child feels more confident in one area, it can often improve their performance in academics too.

3. Make time for affection and encouragement

Simple acts can go a long way:

• A gentle pat on the shoulder
• A hug after a tough day
• Saying “I’m proud of you”
• Smiling and listening when your child talks

These small actions tell your child: “You matter. You are loved.”

Children often look to their parents for assurance. When you show them that they are accepted no matter what they feel safer and more secure in who they are.

4. Avoid harsh comparisons

Try not to compare your child to their siblings, cousins, or classmates. Instead of saying, “Why can’t you be like your friend who always finishes their homework?” you could say, “Let’s figure out what’s making this hard for you and find a way together.”

Children are already aware of their struggles. What they need is your help to move through them, not pressure to be someone they are not.

5. Build a positive environment at home

Encourage open conversations, mistakes, and learning. Make space for play, creativity, and relaxation. Let your child know it’s okay to feel upset or make errors, what matters is what they do next.

A home where a child feels safe, heard, and accepted lays the foundation for healthy self-esteem.

Remedial education specialist Ms. Farida Raj shares that children gain confidence when their efforts are encouraged. She reminds parents to praise their child’s attempts and reassure them during moments of doubt. Encouragement, she says, is one of the simplest but most important tools a parent can use.

Children may have different learning styles, communication preferences, and emotional needs. But every child has the capacity to learn, grow, and thrive, with the right support.

As parents and caregivers, our role is to help them discover what makes them shine and to remind them, every day, that their worth isn’t based only on marks or performance. It’s rooted in who they are.

Need support?

If you have questions about Autism, Down Syndrome, ADHD, Specific Learning Disabilities, or other developmental concerns, we’re here to help.

Call or WhatsApp the Nayi Disha FREE Helpline at 844-844-8996.
Our counselors speak English, Hindi, Malayalam, Marathi, Gujarati, Telugu, and Bengali.

You can also watch our video on understanding the signs and symptoms of Specific Learning Disabilities.

DISCLAIMER: Please note that this guide is for information purposes only. Please consult a qualified practitioner for effective diagnosis and management.