Missed baby milestones, spot red flags or notice developmental delays in your child – Whom to approach & what to do?

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that your child is “not quite like other kids”? Maybe someone – a family member, a friend, a teacher has pointed something out about your child’s behaviour or development. Maybe you’ve already had a gut feeling, but brushed it off until someone else noticed it too. If you’ve been worrying that you may have “missed some milestones,” you’re not alone. 

Parenting isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about being present, staying curious, and learning as you go. And in that journey, it’s perfectly okay to have questions, doubts, or even fears.

Developmental milestones like smiling, sitting, walking, talking are helpful guides to track how children grow. But they are not fixed rules. Think of them as road signs, not strict deadlines.

Some children:

• Start walking early but talk a little later.
• May speak fluently but take time to enjoy social play.
• Reach some milestones ahead of time and others much later.
  

These variations are completely normal in many cases. Missing one or two milestones, or achieving them slightly later, doesn’t automatically mean something is “wrong.” Each child is developing a brain, body, and personality in their own way and that uniqueness is worth celebrating.

That said, staying informed and observant helps us support our children better.

So, when should I seek help?

It’s natural to wonder: If children develop differently, when should I actually be concerned?

You should consider speaking to a pediatrician or developmental specialist when:

1. You notice red flags – These could be signs that your child is not just delayed, but showing atypical patterns of development. For example:
   • Not making eye contact by 3 months.
   • Not responding to sounds or name by 9 months.
   • Loss of words or skills previously gained.
     (A complete list of red flags for each developmental domain is coming soon!)
2. Your child’s development regresses – This means they lose a skill they once had (like saying words and then stopping, or no longer using gestures).
   
3. There are other risk factors – This could include complications during birth, a family history of developmental conditions like Autism or ADHD, or exposure to certain toxins or stressors early in life.
4. You just feel something’s not right – Trust your instincts. You are the expert on your child. If you sense something is off, seek advice. Early support can make a big difference.

What happens if I wait too long?

It’s natural to feel guilty or afraid when you suspect a delay. But remember: This is not your fault. Parenting is a steep learning curve, and there’s no such thing as being “too late” to support your child’s growth. Children are incredibly adaptive, and the brain is still very flexible during the early years.

Early support doesn’t mean labeling or diagnosing your child right away, it means getting the information, tools, and care that help your child reach their potential.

What kind of help should I seek?

You might hear about different specialists. Here’s a quick explanation to help you decide where to start:

• Developmental Pediatricians: These doctors specialize in understanding how children grow physically, emotionally, and mentally. They assess delays, differences, or difficulties in reaching milestones.
  
• Pediatric Neurologists: These specialists focus more on the nervous system, brain, and any possible neurological conditions that could affect development (like seizures, muscular disorders, or specific brain injuries).

Both can play important roles. Your pediatrician can help you decide who to see based on your child’s specific needs.

For a detailed guide on the differences between these professionals, check out our resource on Pediatricians vs. Pediatric Neurologists.

It’s important to remember that not all differences are deficits.

A child who flaps their hands when excited, avoids eye contact, or plays alone might be developing differently but that doesn’t mean they are broken or need to be “fixed.” The neuro affirming approach encourages us to see and support children as they are, not force them to “fit in.”

Children who are neurodivergent such as those with Autism, ADHD, Down Syndrome, or intellectual disabilities may need support tailored to their unique ways of sensing, processing, and interacting with the world. But they also bring gifts, perspectives, and creativity that the world needs.

What can I do now?

Here’s how you can support your child if you’re feeling unsure about their development:

• Note what your child enjoys, struggles with, and how they communicate, verbally or nonverbally.
• Journaling changes you notice helps when speaking with professionals.
• Seek professional advice. Don’t wait for certainty. Start the conversation.
• Be kind to yourself. You are doing your best. And that counts for a lot.
• Parenting can feel lonely, especially when you’re unsure about your child’s development. Find support groups or talk to other families who’ve walked this path.

Need support?

If you have questions about Autism, ADHD, Down Syndrome, intellectual disabilities, or concerns about developmental delays, Nayi Disha is here for you.

Call or WhatsApp us on our FREE Helpline: 844-844-8996
We speak English, Hindi, Malayalam, Gujarati, Marathi, Telugu, and Bengali.

DISCLAIMER:
This guide is for informational purposes only. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional for proper guidance.