A Glimpse Into Our Autism Journey

We started behavior therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy for you. You went through hell in the beginning. You wondered why we were putting you through what we were putting you through. You felt hurt, betrayed, lost, and confused. I questioned everything we were doing for you. Were we doing the right thing? Were we helping you or harming you? Was this worth the pain you were going through?

Then, slowly, but surely, we started seeing a difference in you. We started seeing you cross one hurdle after another. You were more comfortable, more confident, and more in control of the environment around you. You were doing well at home and at school. You had always been intelligent and you started excelling in academics, now that you were better equipped to deal with the environment around you. The teachers couldn’t stop talking about how brilliant you were. You were way ahead of the rest of the class with your in-depth knowledge of all subjects. You displayed clarity of thought well beyond your age.

As you grew older, though, you started finding it difficult to handle the increasingly complex social dynamics at school and started withdrawing from the world around you. You asked me why you were not like the other children. You asked me why you found it difficult to do the things that the other children could do easily. I told you that everybody had something that they were good at and something that they were not so good at, but you weren’t convinced. You were too intelligent not to realize that there was more to it.

I knew, then, that you needed to know about your autism. You were ten years old at the time. I was apprehensive about telling you that you had autism, but your response when I told you about it laid any fears I had to rest. You were extremely grateful and relieved on learning about your autism. You thanked me profusely for telling you about it because now you understood why you were the way you were, why you did the things you did, why you felt the way you felt, and you didn’t feel bad about it anymore, you didn’t feel like you weren’t good enough or weren’t trying hard enough. You realized that it wasn’t your fault and it was like a load had been lifted from your shoulders. You blossomed from that point onward.

Your journey has not been an easy one, but it has been one of strength, courage, and the indomitable human spirit. You make me proud of you every single day with your spirit, your strength, your courage, your resilience, your integrity, your empathy, your clarity, your intelligence and so much more. You are and always will be my hero.

Love you with all my heart,
Mom