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Many parents ask me how to reduce aggression in their children, and I always feel at a loss for an answer because I don’t think it’s a one size fits all solution. In my opinion, aggression is a symptom of the problem and not the problem itself, therefore, it is important to understand the reason behind the aggression to find an effective solution for it.

In my son’s case, for example, I realized that his aggression was caused by one or more of the following issues:

– Sensory overload: Too much sensory stimulation in terms of sight, smell, sound, touch, etc.
– Emotional overload: Feeling intense emotions and not knowing how to handle them.
– Mental overload: Reaching his limit when doing difficult tasks.
– Communication problems: Frustration over inability to communicate his thoughts and feelings.

Once I was able to identify what was causing his aggressive behavior, I was able to help him deal with it. For example:

– Sensory overload: Remove or reduce the stimuli causing the sensory overload.
– Emotional overload: Teach how to handle emotions and self-regulate.
– Mental overload: Stop the activity and resume after taking a break or switch to another activity.
– Communication problems: Teach different ways to communicate.

So, my advice to parents is to observe what is causing their child to be aggressive. Once you are able to identify the reason, you can work on the solution.